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Short Fuse? Take Great Care of Your Nervous System

central-nervous-system-bw

Short fuse, long fuse, everyone has one. There is no person on earth who doesn’t have a limit before getting irritated and then becoming angry. The only interesting question is how come someone’s reservoir of patience is much deeper than someone else? How come one gets irked and blows up from a sound of cat’s nails tapping on the hardwood when another one can take Chinese water torture for days and still keep their cool?

You might point out the obvious – patience! But patience is a finite resource. Besides, if one is not experiencing any irritation from an obvious trigger then what’s there to be patient about? The answer lies within our nervous system (NS). It is our NS that determines how comfortable we are in our bodies. In scientific terms a nervous system is responsible for “sending, receiving, and interpreting information from all parts of the body; it monitors and coordinates internal organ function and responds to changes in the external environment.”

In simple terms NS is intricately linked to our perception of things whether we’re aware of it or not. My past three years of struggle with health and insomnia has definitely taught me many lessons about the role that our nervous system plays in self control. Insomnia, especially, hits the NS like a bulldozer and makes one into a walking zombie. This is where I had the fortune to put all of my thus far accumulated “anger mentor” wisdom to the test.

It didn’t take long to notice that following a sleepless night my fuse was extremely short. I basically already got out of bed irritated and pissed for having gone through [click to continue…]

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critisising others

Modern psychology says that being judgmental toward others is a psychological defense mechanism: we reject in others what we can’t accept in ourselves. It’s an insightful discovery but I believe it’s a short sighted one. Our inner critic has much deeper roots, those that hide way beyond the ordinary observation of the ego mind. 

Ever since I was a kid I was known for having “a bit” of a wild temperament. Naturally, life was generous with painful but valuable lessons. After all, no matter how high you fly, if your wings are made of ego you’ll eventually crash hard face down into a big pile of cow shit. Basic laws of the mighty Universe.

In addition, my dad was a total ass to my mom. I mean, he loved her but his was awful to her. Imagine a young boy growing up watching all that and you’ll get a sense of the type of “manhood” lessons I was ingrained with since childhood. After going through all this trouble myself I now notice other men struggling to keep their relationships together, all due to their fathers’ absence of basic skills on how to treat a lady and accept her with all her strengths and weaknesses.

Anyways, if you love exploring your inner world like I do then you have also done some soul searching, drilling into the depths of your heart asking one simple question – how can I criticize less? And I feel we have to frame it this way because it would be virtually impossible for one (masterful in the art) to just  ‘stop‘ criticizing. Gotta be realistic, right?  After all, making a mere wish to be something completely different from what you were your entire life is as effective as drinking more beer for a hangover remedy.  What we need is a system, a process that will [click to continue…]

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aggressive eyes

So you’re furious, I mean you’re really pissed… Now what?  Come with me to the dungeon of your mind where you find yourself absolutely livid, so full of rage you’re ready to explode and take everyone with you. Basically you’re Taliban, wearing an emotional suicide vest.

The Dawn of Madness

In this downward vortex you feel like you literally do not care about anything, like you want to annihilate everyone in your path, it’s as if tomorrow does not exist, nothing else matters, you just want to destroy your relationship, shatter things to pieces, you want it to be over with right now, right here. You feel violent madness rushing up your veins and it all feels super real, more real than ever, more real than anything else, it’s as if you’re in a trance, clenching to a profound sense of righteousness, burning to restore your honor. Like a spider you want to catch that elusive fly and suck its blood. And after you have drained every drop of it you’ll have your sense of easiness again, that revitalizing oceanfront breath of fresh air.

Tiny Moment with Immense Power to Direct Your Sails of Faith

Except, within that storm of delusion, there is a millisecond moment of lucidity. Someone is trying to spoil your plans of falling into the abyss of obliteration and remind you that you are about to make one of the biggest mistakes of your life… It’s that tiny, drowned out voice inside your heart, that is trying to say, “What you really need right now is for someone to snap their cold, dry fingers right in between your two bloodshot eyes and [click to continue…]

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guru with disciples

The story testifies to one key aspect about anger – it’s an alienating emotion which we can’t afford. Think about it… when we are angry we feel misunderstood and have a deep wish to be heard, but ironically, our tone of voice achieves the exact opposite. It’s a shame as we might be communicating a [continue reading...]

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how can you be angry1

“How Can You be Angry When” is a series of posts meant to pause the words, ground you and hopefully inspire you to shift perspective, consider the alternative; even if… it’s just for a moment.

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emotional puppett

“Our puppet strings are hard to see, so we perceive ourselves as free.” – Theodore Melnechuk, Poet and Scientist. Life – a precious opportunity to exist on the terrestrial plane among animals and fellow human beings. Full of joy, love, service to others, and at the same time riddled with pain, frustration and disappointment.   Ever [continue reading...]

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difficult people2

“Look, I’ve tried all of your advice on dealing with angry people and nothing works. I’m at the end of my wits, what else can I do?” When, once in a blue moon, I get an e-mail stating something like this I have to access my drawer of secret advice and introduce a radical notion [continue reading...]

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dealing with psychopath

When I was a “seasoned” nurse, the first thing I would tell new psych nurses was to throw out everything they learned in books. I explained that although saying sweetly “I’m concerned about you….. for whatever reason” may work with neurotic folks who just want to talk, that it wouldn’t get you anywhere in an [continue reading...]

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god in flames from anger

Unless you were one of the fortunate ones who happened to have a Sunday school teacher who wasn’t afraid to be bluntly blasphemous you were stuffed with the notion that God is a truly nice guy, watching after us from above with a loving tender, ready to forgive every sin. Bible itself, however, says nothing [continue reading...]

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hpa axis brain bw

Our body is a system in which all of the components are designed to work smoothly and in perfect balance with each other.  The same way that one broken part can bring a car to a screeching halt, so can our bodily organs. The last article was a short introduction to our HPA Axis.  Traditionally [continue reading...]

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