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Long time ago, in ancient India a young student asked his Teacher, “I fear death. How can I get rid of this fear?”

“Tell me,” the old man answered, “When you borrow a few coins, are you afraid to give them later back?”

“Of course not,” the student answered with surprise, “but what does this have to do with my fear?”

The teacher picked up a small piece of soil from the ground and continued, “You have received your body in debt with required return. And every bite of bread eaten by you, every sip of water drank by you increases that debt. You are made from dust on which you walk and the ground is your main creditor, constantly reminding you of this debt. It is pulling you down towards it. In the end, the ground will swallow you whole, without any remains.”

The old man threw the soil into the air, after attaining its fall, he finished, “No matter how high you rise, how long you are in the flight, you will still need to fall down. That is given. And to cope with the fear of this fall is very easy – stop thinking about yourself as the master of your body. Face the thought that you are just a tenant. And because you don’t know the length of your rent, remember that it can end at any second. We are all debtors, and our debts will certainly be recovered, no matter if we are afraid of it or not. So is there a point of being afraid?”

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It’s a dreaded day. I’ve been busted. My parents just found out that I skipped  school for almost a year, missed a ton of classes and failed an entire semester. Home is going to be hell. Only question that comes to mind who is going to beat the crap out of me harder – my mom or dad. The dreaded doors open and I’m immediately faced with a barrage of scolding. Words go straight to my heart – “looser, idiot, bum, what an embarrassment!” They each scream at me louder than the other. My father raises his arm but I fall down to the floor and crouch into a fetus position hoping to avoid his blows but then it comes – three kicks in the row. They are not painful, physically.

Up to today I don’t remember what my mother said or did. She might have slapped me too but I don’t remember. What I do remember were those kicks. They violated a sacred bond between father and son, erased years of positive interactions between us, and possibly, I never forgave him for this.

You see, kids expect their parents to get angry when they mess up. They know it’s coming. What they never expect is to be humiliated. This is subhuman.

Life often makes me reflect on the ways my parents punished me for messing up. To be frank, it scares the bejesus out of me that I might discipline my [continue reading…]

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Short Fuse? Take Great Care of Your Nervous System

Short fuse, long fuse, everyone has one. There is no person on earth who doesn’t have a limit before getting irritated and then becoming angry. The only interesting question is how come someone’s reservoir of patience is much deeper than someone else? How come one gets irked and blows up from a sound of cat’s nails tapping on the hardwood when another one can take Chinese water torture for days and still keep their cool?

You might point out the obvious – patience! But patience is a finite resource. Besides, if one is not experiencing any irritation from an obvious trigger then what’s there to be patient about? The answer lies within our nervous system (NS). It is our NS that determines how comfortable we are in our bodies. In scientific terms a nervous system is responsible for “sending, receiving, and interpreting information from all parts of the body; it monitors and coordinates internal organ function and responds to changes in the external environment.”

In simple terms NS is intricately linked to our perception of things whether we’re aware of it or not. My past three years of struggle with health and insomnia has definitely taught me many lessons about the role that our nervous system plays in self control. Insomnia, especially, hits the NS like a bulldozer and makes one into a walking zombie. This is where I had the fortune to put all of my thus far accumulated “anger mentor” wisdom to the test.

It didn’t take long to notice that following a sleepless night my fuse was extremely short. I basically already got out of bed irritated and pissed for having gone through [continue reading…]

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Unless you were one of the fortunate ones who happened to have a Sunday school teacher who wasn’t afraid to be bluntly blasphemous you were stuffed with the notion that God is a truly nice guy, watching after us from above with a loving tender, ready to forgive every sin. Bible itself, however, says nothing Read more

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Our body is a system in which all of the components are designed to work smoothly and in perfect balance with each other.  The same way that one broken part can bring a car to a screeching halt, so can our bodily organs. The last article was a short introduction to our HPA Axis.  Traditionally Read more

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If you are anywhere like me, you must have days that feel like the software in your mind is glitching so bad you just want to stick that head in the freezer or drink yourself to death just to enjoy a moment of peace. It can seem like no matter how hard you try to Read more

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Does chewing, nose sniffing, throat clearing, pen clicking, finger tapping propel your mind to instant rage? Misophonia, aka “Sound Rage Disorder,” aka Selective Sound Sensitivity Syndrome (SSSS) is a neurological disorder in which anger, hatred, and disgust are triggered by specific sounds. When to most people these particular sounds and visuals are barely background noise, Read more

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Sun Tzu, one of the greatest Chinese generals, strategists and philosophers believed that the supreme art of war was to subdue the enemy without even fighting. He said “To fight and conquer in all our battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy’s resistance without fighting.” Most of us would be Read more

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Everybody likes to argue. People that don’t like to argue are either dead or in comma. The only question is what kind of fights do you like? There are people who like to fight and are willing to employ their entire God given arsenal of wits in order to arrive at their own version of Read more

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Loving an angry person can be a daily challenge. Even worse, confronting angry people often creates an atmosphere that is hostile and distancing or punishing with aggression or cold hostility. However, you might have reached a breaking point and are ready to do a cost-benefit analysis of the consequences of your changing the rules and Read more

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