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Short Fuse? Take Great Care of Your Nervous System

Short fuse, long fuse, everyone has one. There is no person on earth who doesn’t have a limit before getting irritated and then becoming angry. The only interesting question is how come someone’s reservoir of patience is much deeper than someone else? How come one gets irked and blows up from a sound of cat’s nails tapping on the hardwood when another one can take Chinese water torture for days and still keep their cool?

You might point out the obvious – patience! But patience is a finite resource. Besides, if one is not experiencing any irritation from an obvious trigger then what’s there to be patient about? The answer lies within our nervous system (NS). It is our NS that determines how comfortable we are in our bodies. In scientific terms a nervous system is responsible for “sending, receiving, and interpreting information from all parts of the body; it monitors and coordinates internal organ function and responds to changes in the external environment.”

In simple terms NS is intricately linked to our perception of things whether we’re aware of it or not. My past three years of struggle with health and insomnia has definitely taught me many lessons about the role that our nervous system plays in self control. Insomnia, especially, hits the NS like a bulldozer and makes one into a walking zombie. This is where I had the fortune to put all of my thus far accumulated “anger mentor” wisdom to the test.

It didn’t take long to notice that following a sleepless night my fuse was extremely short. I basically already got out of bed irritated and pissed for having gone through [click to continue…]

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Modern psychology says that being judgmental toward others is a psychological defense mechanism: we reject in others what we can’t accept in ourselves. It’s an insightful discovery but I believe it’s a short sighted one. Our inner critic has much deeper roots, those that hide way beyond the ordinary observation of the ego mind. 

Ever since I was a kid I was known for having “a bit” of a wild temperament. Naturally, life was generous with painful but valuable lessons. After all, no matter how high you fly, if your wings are made of ego you’ll eventually crash hard face down into a big pile of cow shit. Basic laws of the mighty Universe.

In addition, my dad was a total ass to my mom. I mean, he loved her but his was awful to her. Imagine a young boy growing up watching all that and you’ll get a sense of the type of “manhood” lessons I was ingrained with since childhood. After going through all this trouble myself I now notice other men struggling to keep their relationships together, all due to their fathers’ absence of basic skills on how to treat a lady and accept her with all her strengths and weaknesses.

Anyways, if you love exploring your inner world like I do then you have also done some soul searching, drilling into the depths of your heart asking one simple question – how can I criticize less? And I feel we have to frame it this way because it would be virtually impossible for one (masterful in the art) to just  ‘stop‘ criticizing. Gotta be realistic, right?  After all, making a mere wish to be something completely different from what you were your entire life is as effective as drinking more beer for a hangover remedy.  What we need is a system, a process that will [click to continue…]

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So you’re furious, I mean you’re really pissed… Now what?  Come with me to the dungeon of your mind where you find yourself absolutely livid, so full of rage you’re ready to explode and take everyone with you. Basically you’re Taliban, wearing an emotional suicide vest.

The Dawn of Madness

In this downward vortex you feel like you literally do not care about anything, like you want to annihilate everyone in your path, it’s as if tomorrow does not exist, nothing else matters, you just want to destroy your relationship, shatter things to pieces, you want it to be over with right now, right here. You feel violent madness rushing up your veins and it all feels super real, more real than ever, more real than anything else, it’s as if you’re in a trance, clenching to a profound sense of righteousness, burning to restore your honor. Like a spider you want to catch that elusive fly and suck its blood. And after you have drained every drop of it you’ll have your sense of easiness again, that revitalizing oceanfront breath of fresh air.

Tiny Moment with Immense Power to Direct Your Sails of Faith

Except, within that storm of delusion, there is a millisecond moment of lucidity. Someone is trying to spoil your plans of falling into the abyss of obliteration and remind you that you are about to make one of the biggest mistakes of your life… It’s that tiny, drowned out voice inside your heart, that is trying to say, “What you really need right now is for someone to snap their cold, dry fingers right in between your two bloodshot eyes and [click to continue…]

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why always angry and unhappy

Anger is a symptom. It’s a symptom that one of your systems is overheated. If you are always angry over things, it could be a signal that you are operating under a very high level of frustration. Your brain’s amygdala (center of all emotions) may be overstimulated from daily stress or emotional trauma in the [continue reading…]

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making decisions while angry

“Everything one encounters is preconsciously screened and classified as either good or bad, within a fraction of a second after encountering it.” ~John Bargh Have you ever had that “gut” reaction to someone when meeting them for the first time?  You know… that instant “I like you or I hate you” one.  Some people call it [continue reading…]

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Are you a teen and live in the West? Then welcome to the new world. Even though no one is currently invading your country, there has been no generation before you that has been exposed to as much anger, violence, and bitterness as you. This stuff is in the movies, on the radio, in your [continue reading…]

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Teaching a mafia boss how to control anger must be like like sticking one’s head in a lion’s mouth. Most of the times the lion will behave, and once in a while… well, the circus will need a new trainer. Besides, how do you teach someone anger management if his survival depends on his enemies [continue reading…]

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The way eyesight and the eye itself are inseparable, anger is closely tied to the ego. Your success of transforming anger and reaching higher states of awareness depends on one skill – the ability to recognize your mental patterns and calling out the egocentric behavior. Hate to be blunt but life experience dictates that those [continue reading…]

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Anger is for Sissies!

Another day I had a “chat” with Arnold Schwarzenegger (Ahnuld) and asked him to share with us his timeless wisdom and one of his favorite anger management techniques.  What follows is a brief advice to be taken to heart if you truly want to be a “BIG DOG”. P.S. In case you’re having some difficulties with [continue reading…]

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picture of anger and mirror neurons

When you observe others and yourself you can’t help but to notice an interesting phenomenon – emotions are contagious.  It seems one can perk up and turn angry by merely watching another person get all hot and bothered.  You may think sometimes, “It’s almost unfair, this other dude is so ticked off but I can virtually taste [continue reading…]

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